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October 2023 Prayer Letter
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Healing Hearts Ministries Internaional [LOGO]

Dear Friend,




I grew up in a small agricultural town located in Southern California. My parents met and married after immigrating to the US in the early 1950s from Mexico. My dad was fun-loving and enjoyed sharing with us his love for the outdoors. Mom was the rock in our family, she was a God-fearing woman and taught us as children to fear God and be respectful and obedient. I am one of ten children and although we were brought up in the Catholic Faith and knew about God, we did not have a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

I have many happy childhood memories mixed with confusing, frightening, and heartbreaking ones. My dad was an alcoholic for most of his adult life and was verbally and physically abusive to my mom. I felt guilty for loving a dad who could mistreat and abuse my mom, other times, I blamed my mom for angering my dad. (Praise God, prior to his death, dad came to Christ and was delivered from alcoholism).

High School was difficult. My parents were very strict and did not believe in dating, we were not allowed to attend after-school functions. Wanting to fit in and have someone special in my life, I resorted to sneaking out with my friends. I would lie to my parents in order to stay out later. Soon I was drinking and smoking weed as well. I moved out of my parent’s home at eighteen and found an apartment with a few girlfriends. I thought now that I could date, things would definitely be different! However, I was disappointed after many failed attempts at a meaningful relationship. I spent many nights crying to God, but I was not willing to let go of my selfish lifestyle and my cries to God were all about me.

When I met my soon-to-be husband at my workplace he was newly divorced (his second), with two young teenage daughters. Tired of the relationships that went nowhere, and not knowing what God’s Word said about marriage, I thought at least he was someone mature (17 years older than me), responsible, and stable. He was not a believer. He was clear that he did not want any more children and I was okay with that. But five years into our marriage, I became pregnant. My husband (ex) was not happy. There had already been signs of trouble in our marriage. He had an explosive temper and, if I disagreed with him, he would simply end our discussions with, “If you don’t like the way things are, there’s the door.” He told me if I decided to keep the baby, he could not guarantee he would stay for the long haul. I felt so alone and afraid. I feared being a single parent, my pride didn’t want to be another failure and face those who opposed my marriage to begin with (most notably, my mom). So, I made the decision to abort my child. Another five years later I became pregnant again and, again, I chose to abort my child.

I knew deep inside abortion was a sin against God and instantly felt such shame and guilt. How had I fallen this far? Certain that God would not forgive me for aborting my babies, I ran from God instead of to Him.

Like many other women, I thought I could bury the memories. What was done was done. I had no idea the consequences that were to come. I became depressed and looked for temporary comfort from food and alcohol. I resented my husband, blaming him for my unhappiness and blowing up at the least little thing. It was so difficult to be around my family, my mom especially. She would ask, “Mija, how are you? When are you going to have a baby? You should have a baby soon. It will make you happy.” It was like a knife cutting me to the core. So I made up reasons to avoid family functions and distance myself from them.

I kept my secret for almost twenty years, in that time I became angry, bitter, jealous, envious of others, critical of everyone, and I blamed my marriage. I was certain if I had married the right guy things would be different. I was not faithful to my husband, and in 2003 I left my marriage of nineteen years. My life after divorce was no better, I went through several failed relationships and started to drink in excess again.

Then one day I happened across Pastor Alistair Begg’s radio ministry “Truth for Life”. He preached with clarity and was faithful to the message of the cross. He introduced me to the God of the Bible, gracious and merciful to those who come to Him with a humble and contrite spirit. I don’t recall what passage it was he read one morning, but I recall the tears streaming down my face as I cried out to God, “I’m so sorry, I have sinned greatly against You. I have made such a mess of this life, and if You want me, I will follow You the rest of my life.” So began my walk with the Lord!

I found a church and started attending a women’s bible study every week. A friend from church shared with me that she was taking a bible study called “The Hem of His Garment”. I saw something different about her, she had a peace about her that I had never seen before. Although I was attending church faithfully, I did not feel the joy that I so often read about. It would be another year before I was ready to join the study. In that small group, I was finally able to confess to my abortions and discovered there was another study for post-abortive women called “Binding Up the Brokenhearted”. It was through this study of the Word of God that I experienced healing for my abortions. The Lord took my shame and guilt. He dealt with my anger and my un-forgiveness. He cleansed me and restored me. He gave me His joy! I recall the study asking, “Are you willing to share what the Lord has done for you?” and knew this was a turning point in my life. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” When I was asked if I wanted to become a Healing Hearts leader, I was terrified at first, but I knew this was the Lord’s calling. When He calls, He will also equip. I cannot thank God enough for His Mercy and abundant Grace in my life, for using a sinner like me to bring Glory to His Name. I have been able to share this study with three of my eight sisters, allowing me to reconnect with my family in a way I never imagined. I have also shared with close childhood friends and our friendship has been deepened by our love for Jesus. I thank God for His goodness every day. I cannot imagine what my life would be without the wonderful Healing Hearts leaders who took the time to nurture me, disciple me, love me, and encourage me to pursue holiness and practice godliness.

My prayer is that whoever reads my story will be encouraged knowing the Lord God longs to be gracious to you. There are compassionate Healing Hearts leaders ready to walk with you to find healing in God’s Word. Don’t wait another day, another minute! Visit healinghearts.org/get-help-now

- Terri Knotts, Pacific Southwest Regional Director

Thank you, dear supporter, for partnering with us in prayer and through your donations to bring the hope and healing of God’s Word to those broken by sin. We could not continue doing this without you!



Ways you can help



To Make a Donation

You may use the donation form on our website to make a donation, or you may also submit your check to the address provided below.

Healing Hearts Ministries is a federally registered non-profit corporation, all contributions are tax deductible. One hundred percent of all contributions made to Healing Hearts go directly toward supporting the various aspects of our ministry no "administrative fee" is collected by a fund-raising service. All donations and expenditures are internally and independently monitored and audited. Annual financial statements are available upon request.

We thank you for considering contributing to our ministry. Your contribution will enable us to reach out and touch individuals who need the hope and healing message that only Jesus has to offer.

To donate online click this link:
https://www.healinghearts.org/donate


Send checks to:
Healing Hearts Ministries
PO Box 44670 Rio Rancho, NM 87174

phone (505) 355-6922